Steak Milanese

I want to be bad.

Okay, so my wife has been out of town for the past couple of days and I have had the whole house to myself.

Well, me and the two dogs, anyway.

That means I have the run of the kitchen and can make anything I want. Kind of like that kid in “Home Alone”.

Ordinarily, that would mean stocking up on frozen pizzas, but this time I wanted to cook something I can’t make when Sandi is home.

There are certain foods that we normally don’t have because my wife doesn’t like them. For example, scallops are a non-starter. As are fried foods. And any food that is “whole”: Whole milk, whole eggs, whole fat cheese, etc.

Another is beef.

Sandi will only eat beef once in a blue moon, and I used up our beef quota last week when I made Steak Au Poivre. She thinks beef is too fatty compared to chicken, turkey or fish. Generally, she’s right.

But I Iove beef and during my temporary bachelorhood, I decided I wanted steak. And I wanted it fried. And covered with scallops.

Okay, forget the scallops. But what I wanted was Steak Milanese.

If you have ever had Chicken Fried Steak, then you’ve had Steak Milanese. It’s simply a chopped steak that has been breaded and pan-fried.

Pin Machine

Chopped steak is usually made from a tougher cut of beef that has been pounded flat and passed through a pin machine, which essentialy pre-chews the steak so that it becomes very tender. You can almost cut it with a fork, although it falls short of being as crumbly as ground beef.

Because it comes from a tougher part of the steer, chopped steak is very affordable, usually around $1.99/lb or less. And since you thicken it up with breading, you don’t need a lot of it, so it’s an inexpensive, if less healthy, meal.

Chopped Steak

I set up a three stage breading station and quickly pan fried my steak, then served it with mashed potatoes and some zucchini I sauteed with onion, peppers and garlic. I even smothered it with gravy. Not the good kind, either, but the kind that comes out of an envelope. Yes, I’m going full retro here.

It tasted deliciously bad. But in a good way.

Once in a while, it’s fun to be a little naughty in the kitchen and make things I wouldn’t normally get to have. And this forbidden fruit Steak Milanese was certainly delicious.

But I’m also looking forward to returning to our normal routine when Sandi gets home from her business trip tonight. Just don’t tell her about the Steak Milanese, okay?


5 thoughts on “Steak Milanese

  1. I remember the first time I used one of those pin machines (jacard?) and thinking it was a crime against food.
    I think I’d rather pound the hell out of the steak with the grooved side of the mallet than use that.
    Sounds delicious though.
    My girl is going away for a bit soon, and I’ll be able to make Kasha as well as chili with beans!
    She hates beans.

  2. When the wife’s away you should eat all the things she doesn’t like. Get it out of your system. Then call of your new friend and follower Becca and cook for her. She is from Texas and loves her beef. (ick talking in 3rd person)

    Cooking and writing are my two favorite things. I write humor and satire. Check my blog out if you don’t offend easy.

    Lady or Not…Here I Come

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